Snowy Day Thoughts

People would like to think science and or religion has civilized us. Nothing

could be further from the truth. We are as rat brained and fear based a species

as our proto human ancestors. Hope is not our greatest asset and hinderance. Fear

plays a much bigger role in who and what we are. Fear created the gun and the

seat belt. Fear is why you are married and have children. Fear is why some of

have better relationships with their animals then there own kind. Do you think racism

would be as prevalate If men didn’t fear someone of another race taking what he

sees as his. When people hope something will come to pass that is indeed still

fear based. Lately I have tried to see my fears and judge them accordingly. Some

still have merit most don’t. The one thing I have never feared is the truth.

I would like to say laziness has made me hate working but I know deep down that is

not true. I can honestly say that I my brain was never made to work a 9 to 5.

Or 8 to 4 or 3 to 11 or 11 to 7. My mind is firing on all cylinders with creative

thought around midnight and what am I doing then. playing at being a cog. The only

reason I work is for my family. if it wasn’t for that fuck you mr. contributing

member of society. With that being said I respect people who can work a job

thirty to forty years scarcely complaining. I almost want to be like them.

almost.

I FIND IT VERY HARD TO GIVE A FUCK ABOUT MOST T

Vasectomy day

Ladies, have you ever eaten you food for while it’s covered in plastic?

go ahead and try it. I know you’re not but if you did the taste of your

favorite food wouldn’t pair nicely with Saran wrap. No mouth feel, blunted

taste, it’s just horrible. I assume most of you aren’t hookers and haven’t

given head with condom on so that is the closest comparison I can come up

with. Wearing a condom is like eating your food wrapped in plastic. Having

to put one on when your married is twice as worse. This is the vagina you

are going to have for the rest of your life and you have to put up a barrier

around it so your life isn’t a Monty Pytohn sketch.FUCK THAT SHIT!!! Called

me selfish for wanting to have sex without children but I thought that was

one of the few perks of actually being married to the woman you have kids

with. What’s that your saying reader of this blog? why doesn’t your wife

take care of some of the burden of protection since she is the one who gets

preggers? Glad you asked reader. Apparently the pill made her feel wonky when

she took them which she did before we found each other at Toy r us AND a woman

getting her tubes tied is major surgery while getting a vasectomy is a

relatively quick process. I know this because she mentioned that whenever we

had a discussion about protection. Around the winter of 2002 Noah is seven and

Madigan is two. they are healthy and fairly intelligent so I figure this is

the right time to get fixed. So I make the consultation with the family doctor

and the wife joins me in my visit to the man who is going to give me sexual

freedom. After having my testicles rolled around for the first time by a dude

he proceeds to inform me of the process which I researched myself. I begin to

sign the forms to have the surgery due and since I’m married the wife has to

sign the forms as well and that is when shit goes sideways. She doesn’t want to

sign. The doctor doesn’t want to do the surgery if the spouse has qualms about

it. So that is it. No vasectomy for 2002 Adrian. As we have sex over the next

few years I sometimes dispense with the hated condom and the woman I love

proceeds to inform me that if we get pregnant it’s my fault. Owen is born in

April of 2005. In Feburary of 2007 I am allowed to get a vasectomy. At the time

I was on unemployment and her place of employment downgraded her from full time

to part time which meant her insurance was ending so now was the right time.

While I will never compare getting fixed to having a baby but it is not as pain

free as people make it out to be unless you count getting punched in the balls

by a five year old every hour for four days straight painless. During the months

that we informed people that I got a vasectomy the wife made sure to inform people

that it was all my idea. When it’s all said and done I love the three children I

have but I sure as shit don’t want anymore and sex is much better without a baby

cover.