Raymond stories

My little brother Raymond had a bad stutter when he was small. My aunt Wanda said that he’d been

tickled too much as a baby, which is of course an old wives tale. The funniest thing that ever happened

to him that I saw was when my brothers and I were on our way home from school and we were on the

California ave bus when pudding tang (nick name) had to pee and there was nothing to pee into so he

had his first accident of the day. After we got off the bus and were less than a mile away from home he

had to go number two and he of course could not hold. I remember thinking as he shook his leg to

remove the poop that was travelling slowly down his pant legs that seeing him do that was

funny, disgusting, and sad as hell all at the same. Older brother being put off by the sight

walked ahead of us and I can recall thinking he was not my real brother because we had different

daddy’s. For some ungodly reason Ray always had snot running down his nose covering his lower lip

(that’s how I remember it anyway) regardless of the time of year or what was going on snot ran down

his nose

Back in the day My mother bought Raymond and I an S-Curl kit. I assume most of you are white and

have no idea what I’m talking about. S-Curl was/is a hair texturizer (it makes the knappy hair more

manageable) like the Jheri Curl (If my white friends don’t know what I am talking about go to

Wikipedia or watch Coming To America) but it was a do it yourself home kit and the chemical

that made the hair more manageable was a lot weaker with the S-Curl. I was the first to undergo

the process. I can tell you that it did burn those last few minutes and I was more then happy to

rinse that shit out of my hair. Did it work? I don’t have the knappiest hair in the world (one

white grandfather does that) so yes it did. Raymond’s hair was slightly finer. I don’t know

if that had anything to do with his reaction to the chemicals of the “hair maker betterer” but

it was not fucking nice. About three minutes after putting the S-Curl in his hair he started

to tell my mother it burned. “You have to keep it in for like twenty minutes Ray.” Is what my

mother told him. About two minutes later “Momma this burns! this burns bad momma!” He start to

actually jump up and down and run back and forth in the apartment. “Momma wash it out! wash it

out now!” By this time I am almost fucking crying this was so funny. He is running in place with

his eyes popping out of his fucking head. My mother is not a cruel woman so she washes the S-

Curl out of his scalp but she laughs nearly the entire time she’s doing it. The texturizer did

indeed work but Raymond’s scalp was beet fucking red and you could literally see his head throb.

That was so fucking funny!