I Remember

Mad Max beyond rainy day

I remember the day white people made me leave a theater. The year was 1985 and my mother

along with Raymond and myself made one of our magical trips to the Village movie theater.

The Village was a second run movie house and they always had a double feature. I honestly

can’t recall what the second movie and it would not have matter anyway. The movie I really went

there for was Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome. The Road Warrior had at the time been one of the

greatest movies I had ever seen so another chapter would have to be pretty good yes? It was

raining all day and it continued to downpour quite heavy. That never deterred anyone in

in my family from making a trip to see a movie. As we moved our rain-soaked bodies into the

line to get popcorn and such (which was a rare treat) I remember this funny smell that

was weird and familiar at the same time. As we sat and watched the movie in the packed

theater the smell just seemed to grow stronger. By the time Mad Max ran into those wild

children living in the desert I could barely think straight. The odor was punching me in

the face and gut. I told my mother I wanted to go home because that smell was making me

sick. To my astonishment she was actually ok with leaving right then and there. I was

instantly better when we left the theater and felt a little guilty about being such a

pussy about the smell. I ask my mother “Ma what was that awful smell.” My mother looked

at me and said “When white people’s hair gets wet it smells like wet dog.” Clearly I got

over it.

The First

I remember my first wet dream like it yesterday. I was in love with a girl named Wanda

Brown who went to St Malachi with my brothers and I. The dream was in my bedroom and

there was a cool light coming through the window shade. Wanda who some would call

redbone seemed to be almost glowing. We were both getting naked and I remember

seeing her “thing”. My “thing” was already hard and I put my “thing” in her “thing”.

But being only nine or ten years old her “thing” was directly under her naval and our

“things” interconnected like lego parts. I remember waking up with my “thing” at full

salute and thinking that if sex made girls glow I was going to do that all the time. I was

wrong on quite a few things at the age of nine or ten.

Snowy Day Thoughts

People would like to think science and or religion has civilized us. Nothing

could be further from the truth. We are as rat brained and fear based a species

as our proto human ancestors. Hope is not our greatest asset and hinderance. Fear

plays a much bigger role in who and what we are. Fear created the gun and the

seat belt. Fear is why you are married and have children. Fear is why some of

have better relationships with their animals then there own kind. Do you think racism

would be as prevalate If men didn’t fear someone of another race taking what he

sees as his. When people hope something will come to pass that is indeed still

fear based. Lately I have tried to see my fears and judge them accordingly. Some

still have merit most don’t. The one thing I have never feared is the truth.

I would like to say laziness has made me hate working but I know deep down that is

not true. I can honestly say that I my brain was never made to work a 9 to 5.

Or 8 to 4 or 3 to 11 or 11 to 7. My mind is firing on all cylinders with creative

thought around midnight and what am I doing then. playing at being a cog. The only

reason I work is for my family. if it wasn’t for that fuck you mr. contributing

member of society. With that being said I respect people who can work a job

thirty to forty years scarcely complaining. I almost want to be like them.

almost.

I FIND IT VERY HARD TO GIVE A FUCK ABOUT MOST T