This represents my childhood and teenhood in Chicago
YES THESE ARE GENERALIZATIONS BASED ON RACE BASED ON MY OBSERVATIONS.
White people problem 1: GETTING LOST IN THE WILD. At least six times a year a white
person (sometimes a group of them) get lost at sea or Yellowstone or a snowy forest
or a sun scorched desert or just taking a nice walk in a wooded area. Some Whites
seem to be either bored or adventurous when it comes to taking a vacation or just
having fun which is why I suspect they wind up with their arms stuck under rocks
for a extended period. I still have a hard time believing they made that into a
movie. This is the black equivalent of a movie starring a guy trying to evade child
support payments. We can’t you just go to the Smithsonian? Get it together Tad!
Black people problem 1: GETTING SHOT BECAUSE YOU’RE AT THE WRONG PLACE AND TIME.
Look Tyrone I know you want to go out and party with your homies and have a good
time but you need to consider a few things. Do any of your home boys happen to be
in a gang that necessitate them carrying a gun for protection and raise the chance
that you may catch a hot one by mistake? Are you going a place where sometimes
“misunderstandings” happen frequently (like every weekend) namely clubs,
parties, baby showers, funerals, er rooms, movie theaters, shopping malls, and
of course Walmart. Will there be people there known to “jump shit off” on a
regular period. IF YOU SEE TOO MAMY NIGGAS AVOID THESE PLACES.
White people problems 2: THINKING YOU CAN KILL YOUR WIFE OR MATE AND OUT
SMART THE POLICE. Scott Petersen, Drew Petersen, Jason Young, Steve Acuna,
Steven Sherer, Susan Smith, Fred Neulander,Craig Rabinowitz, Michele Williams
Pamela Moss. I know what you are going to say white people “all races kill
you ignorant bastard!” You would be right of course but this isn’t about
killers. This is about white people trying to make a murder look like an
tragic accident (a fall in a dry tub) or reporting your wife missing when you
know good and well the person is in not in Vegas living the good life. Some
whites goes as far as blaming the scary ubiquitous black man who not only car
jacks you and your pregnant wife but manages to shoot her dead while only grazing
your temple? Do yourself a favor Tad and just get a divorce.
Black people problems 2: AVOIDING CHILD SUPPORT / LETTING GRANDMA RAISE YOUR KIDS.
Is there a legitimate reason why so many black men lie down with several women
have more then a few children littered over several area codes and don’t provide
for then financially, emotionally, and a physical presence in the life of their
seeds? FUCK NO. The “white devil is holding me down” speech was old when I was a
kid. There is more financial aid for the average poor person then anyone “middle
class” Getting hooked on crack and letting your old tired mother raise another
generation of blacks is always going to be a hit or miss. Some of these women can
rise to the occasion and some are just overwhelmed. Watching your kids screw up to the
point where you have to look after your grand babies has got to be daunting and
frustrating. That is a job I would not want.
White people problems 3: NOT HAVING THE GOOD SENSE TO KNOW WHEN SOMETHING MAY
BE RACIST OR VERY INSULTING. Everyone on this planet knows that whites control
the majority of what occurs on this planet. You would think that kind of power
and entitlement would make them magnanimous. You would be wrong. America has
been in control of the white race since it was stolen fair and square from the
red man. Yet nearly every week I can find a new joke or slur directed toward one
race or another. You seem to have a callous disregard for the native people
you ran over and the slaves you brought here. Is this the act of a true conqueror?
A part of me knows that this is a response to the average white man feeling
marginalized in this new world. A lot of brown people seem to be gaining in strength
and numbers but that does not equate to wealth and power. Let me tell you something
to ease your unease. You will always be in power in America and most of the world.
You may lose some power to the asians but for the most part you will be in control for the
foreseeable future. You own it all so fucking relax, have a cigar and act like
the conquerors you are and stop it with all the mud people jokes. Be above it
Black people problems 3: PULLING OUT THAT RACE CARD EVERYTIME A WHITE PERSON
SAYS SOMETHING YOU DON’T WANT HEAR. Not everything that a asshole white person
does is not based on the fact that your are black. Maybe that shitty white person
is having a especially shitty day. Maybe his wife left him, maybe he found out his
son was gay and he can’t handle it. Maybe this white cashier has been told to check
all bills over twenty dollars and she is not doing it because your black. Not all
white cops are super racist and pulled your over because you have a pretty white
women in the passenger seat. Maybe you were speeding. Maybe your tail light is
out. Maybe little Jamarcus got a f in class because he wasn’t paying attention
and not the obviously racist second grade math teacher. A lot of white people
are not racist. Some just have no fucking clue of how to interact with us. Give
him or her the benefit of the doubt before you jump in that ass. If you find out
that they simply don’t like black people the you have my permission to light
their asses the fuck up.
About two weeks before my biggest asthma attack ever I was over in my old neighborhood waiting
for some someone to show up. It was friday afternoon and I decided to hang with my friends before
going home. After sitting on my grandmother’s porch for about an hour or so my best friend
arrived. We talked about our experiences so far in high school and whatever teens boys at that
time talked about. After a while we decided to go get something to eat. Chinese food, ribs and
average American fare awaited us three blocks over. On our way there we spotted this kid
getting his ass kicked by a bunch of Vice Lords. My best friend and I knew this nigga but he was
kind of a asshole to me so I didn’t give a shit. It would not have been the first time I saw
someone get their ass kicked. My best friend knew this guy longer then I did and he wanted to
defend him and since my best friend was my best friend I had to defend his stupid ass. While
we confronted these seven or eight gentlemen the guy who were trying to protect split the
scene. The ringleader hit my best friend with one punch and knocked his two front teeth out.
Fuck I thought to myself now I actually have to fight. Being born and raised on the Westside of
Chicago I made it a point for most of my life to carry some kind of weapon on me and that day
was no exception. I had a brand new acid wash denim jacket (Fuck you it was 87′ acid wash was
the shit then) with a nice length of chain in my pocket. I took it out wrapped it around my hand
a punched one guy in the temple as hard as I could. I didn’t even get a chance to see if the nigga
I hit went down. The next thing I remember I was crawling up in a ball getting the shit kick out
of me by six or seven motherfucker. getting up from the beating I recall this old man smiling at
me saying something but I guess pain makes you deaf for a while. After we got up and went home
my best friend was headed to the doctor with a bruised and bloody face. My oldest cousin who
was a State Trooper happened to be visiting on Sawyer asked me if I wanted to handle it. I
thought about it for a second and said no. I didn’t live there anymore but my best friend did
what would have happened if these niggas tried to pay him back? No I just went home with a
pounding headache that lasted a week and a little blood in my urine. Ah the good old days.