Things I hope to see in my life time.

INTERACIAL GAY HIP HOP DUO

I have been waiting on gay rappers like 50 cent and Missy Elliot to come charging

out of the closet and a rap duo who are gay lovers who are actually good at rapping

would be something to behold.I have a pro “do you what you were born to do” attitude

but most of the people of love hip hop do not and anyone who knows me know I would

love the fucking chaos and chatter that shitstorm would bring. I recall when Eminem

first hit the scene and a lot of hip hip heads were like “Na na son! that white boy’s

pasty ass can’t rap. Muthafucka talking about his momma and shit! fuck that fool!” I can

just see the messages on Youtube now complaining how hip hip has been ruined forever

and even better the people who never listen to rap shouting how the music has evolved

and how the world should embrace them. Twenty to twenty five years tops. (yes Youtube

will still be here in twenty years)

MORE NON WHITE/NON MALE PRESIDENTS

I am “progressive” but that isn’t why I want a president who is a black woman or an Asia

man. I want to hear all of the wonderful racist jokes white guys are going to be inventing

every time a president who isn’t mostly of European descent gets elected. Most of the Obama

jokes seem like they were invented by those retards in the Tea Party and It’s very hard for me

to smile at a joke I read if it has been misspelled. Imagine the mileage you can get if the

president is a Hispanic woman or a Native American.

WHEN CLIMATE CHANGE WILL IRREFUTABLE FOR ALL TO SEE

Clearly it will have to be something big because the people who refuse to see the truth have to

be hit over the head with something blunt and heavy. It could be ten year or maybe as far as

thirty but there will come a time when even the richest oil baron is going to say “We fucked

up.” By that time it might to prudent to avoid costal areas.

THE DEATH KNELL OF ORGANIZED RELIGION

Obviously being a atheist I am very biased on the eventual death of the concept of a god who

created mankind for the single purpose of kissing his ass for giving us life. I have never seen ant,

raccoons, or lions praying to an alter to an old white man Ebenezer Scrooge pajamas asking

forgiveness for some perceived sin. I am always been on the fence about religion dying slowly but

inexorably because I get so much joy from the silly things religious people say and believe. I love the

contradictory behavior man has with the ability to worship a false god and mostly silly rules yet

give in to his carnal and base needs every single chance he gets. But the evolved human in me

knows that once we are able to unshackle ourselves from one form of control it will be that

much easier to let go of another. REASON COMPASSION LOGIC.

Snowy Day Thoughts

People would like to think science and or religion has civilized us. Nothing

could be further from the truth. We are as rat brained and fear based a species

as our proto human ancestors. Hope is not our greatest asset and hinderance. Fear

plays a much bigger role in who and what we are. Fear created the gun and the

seat belt. Fear is why you are married and have children. Fear is why some of

have better relationships with their animals then there own kind. Do you think racism

would be as prevalate If men didn’t fear someone of another race taking what he

sees as his. When people hope something will come to pass that is indeed still

fear based. Lately I have tried to see my fears and judge them accordingly. Some

still have merit most don’t. The one thing I have never feared is the truth.

I would like to say laziness has made me hate working but I know deep down that is

not true. I can honestly say that I my brain was never made to work a 9 to 5.

Or 8 to 4 or 3 to 11 or 11 to 7. My mind is firing on all cylinders with creative

thought around midnight and what am I doing then. playing at being a cog. The only

reason I work is for my family. if it wasn’t for that fuck you mr. contributing

member of society. With that being said I respect people who can work a job

thirty to forty years scarcely complaining. I almost want to be like them.

almost.

I FIND IT VERY HARD TO GIVE A FUCK ABOUT MOST T

Vasectomy day

Ladies, have you ever eaten you food for while it’s covered in plastic?

go ahead and try it. I know you’re not but if you did the taste of your

favorite food wouldn’t pair nicely with Saran wrap. No mouth feel, blunted

taste, it’s just horrible. I assume most of you aren’t hookers and haven’t

given head with condom on so that is the closest comparison I can come up

with. Wearing a condom is like eating your food wrapped in plastic. Having

to put one on when your married is twice as worse. This is the vagina you

are going to have for the rest of your life and you have to put up a barrier

around it so your life isn’t a Monty Pytohn sketch.FUCK THAT SHIT!!! Called

me selfish for wanting to have sex without children but I thought that was

one of the few perks of actually being married to the woman you have kids

with. What’s that your saying reader of this blog? why doesn’t your wife

take care of some of the burden of protection since she is the one who gets

preggers? Glad you asked reader. Apparently the pill made her feel wonky when

she took them which she did before we found each other at Toy r us AND a woman

getting her tubes tied is major surgery while getting a vasectomy is a

relatively quick process. I know this because she mentioned that whenever we

had a discussion about protection. Around the winter of 2002 Noah is seven and

Madigan is two. they are healthy and fairly intelligent so I figure this is

the right time to get fixed. So I make the consultation with the family doctor

and the wife joins me in my visit to the man who is going to give me sexual

freedom. After having my testicles rolled around for the first time by a dude

he proceeds to inform me of the process which I researched myself. I begin to

sign the forms to have the surgery due and since I’m married the wife has to

sign the forms as well and that is when shit goes sideways. She doesn’t want to

sign. The doctor doesn’t want to do the surgery if the spouse has qualms about

it. So that is it. No vasectomy for 2002 Adrian. As we have sex over the next

few years I sometimes dispense with the hated condom and the woman I love

proceeds to inform me that if we get pregnant it’s my fault. Owen is born in

April of 2005. In Feburary of 2007 I am allowed to get a vasectomy. At the time

I was on unemployment and her place of employment downgraded her from full time

to part time which meant her insurance was ending so now was the right time.

While I will never compare getting fixed to having a baby but it is not as pain

free as people make it out to be unless you count getting punched in the balls

by a five year old every hour for four days straight painless. During the months

that we informed people that I got a vasectomy the wife made sure to inform people

that it was all my idea. When it’s all said and done I love the three children I

have but I sure as shit don’t want anymore and sex is much better without a baby

cover.

First day back

I have been unemployed since black people thought Obama was baby jesus (tranny trick niggas!!)

My first day was uneventful. My feet felt as if they had been cartooned steam rolled but that

is par for the course. The ride home was the motherfucker. I noticed a homeless person at the

number 2 bus stop. She mentioned that “Johnny took my socks from the Y so I showed that

motherfucker how to get down!” Unfortunately I was too tired and cold to enjoy her crazy

ramblings. When I got on the bus there was one empty seat and no would sit in it. Guess what

was in the seat next to it? A another homeless person! It took me two seconds to realize why

no one would take seat next to Mr six coats but as I said before I was too tired and sore to

care and I thought to myself it was so cold that he couldn’t smell that bad right? WRONG!

FUCKING WRONG!!! This man smelled like a skunk’s taint and forty years of slow death by cheap

wine. I could smell the maddog through his pores. I still didn’t move. The young black sitting

across from took out some cologne and sprayed his neck to try and kill the smell before it reached

his nose. I didn’t work. When he got up his bottom was covered in urine and I got a fresher smell

of this man. I still didn’t moved. The next bus took even longer and some white guy who looked

like what carrot top will look in the future tried to impress upon me the tastiness of black pussy

(his words not mine) I was too cold and tired to even reply. It took me 2 hours and forty minutes

to get home and I still couldn’t fall to sleep right away. Fuck you Cota.

“That’s why you’re going to hell Adrian!”

Is what my younger brother would announce whenever I did something that was wrong

or I laughed at something that was highly inappropriate. Case in point people being

hurt. old people in particular was fucking hilarious to me. When Richard Widmark

tied up a older woman in a wheelchair and pushed her down a flight of stairs as

she cried and pleaded how she was sick and old was one of the funniest fucking things

I had seen at the time. When my uncle James was struck in the head with a piece of

wood my uncle Larry was using to hold up dry wall on a ceiling in my grandmother’s

house I nearly pissed my pants. My best friend Chris Wright got a bee stuck in his

afro and while he screamed and jumped around like a bitch trying to get it out I

jumped and screamed as well but not from pain and fear. Two of the funniest events

of my childhood revolved around my little brother and his pain. I’m not sure how it

happened but Raymond managed to get a popcorn kernel stuck in his ear. My brother’s

more sensitive scalp couldn’t take the chemicals of an S curl and he began to turn

visibly red. These two incidents seem to make his lower body dance like an indian

chief trying to make rain. I was in tears. Regular events make me chuckle as well.

Every time my my grandmother would straighten my aunt Jeanette’s hair she would

usually burn her on the knap of the neck and as my aunt protested my grandmother

would proceed to smack the hell out of her hand for getting upset about being

burned. HOW FUCKING FUUNY IS THAT! I have only recently be able to stifle my laughter

at others pain due in part to my children. When my then two year old son Owen slid

down a flight of stairs I told him not to go up I almost laughed. I knew he wasn’t hurt by

the wide eyed look of fear on his face. It took me a monumental effort on my part

to not cry out laughing and I think I actually had to grit my teeth to do so. See

I am getting better.

People to keep at an arms length

WOMEN

Why would you trust the best liars in the world? Up to ten percent of women lie about

the parentage of their children. At first glance that seems low but when you think that

out of a hundred people ten of those may not know who their daddy really is. When Chris

Rock said “men tell the most lies but women tell the biggest lies.” is was the truth. When

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle spoke through Sherlock Holmes about how “Women are never to be

entirely trusted” it was the truth. There isn’t one women over the age of thirty who hasn’t

done something that would be contrary to their personality they saw you (fuck a total stranger,

slap one of her kids in a fit of rage, steal money) and justify it with their skewed logic. The

young ,socially inept or just plain dumb man doesn’t get that women aren’t playing

by the same rules as you are. Unbelievably men are slightly (maybe more then slightly) worse.

ADULTS WHO DON’T CURSE

Of course you don’t have to curse as much as I do. I acknowledge that I spew foul words

like a sailor born in a prison but I simply can’t trust a grown man or woman who doesn’t

drop the f bomb or even a lame ass “dammit” on occasion. Any adult who has seen how shitty

and unfair this world can be without screaming a curse word to their fake god is a warped

individual who in all probability does really fucked up things to himself or other

people behind closed doors. Adults who don’t curse are way more fucked up then the rest of

us.

POST RACIAL FUCKERS

You think that because we have a president who is a mixy that racism is done? How stupid

can you fucking be? The Tea Party just happened to be formed around the same time that half

and half got into office. Does that seem like racism is done? I still get those “that nigger

is going to steal something” look when I go into stores WITH my white wife and WITH my three

children. If you think one mixy,who only reached out to blacks to get voted in and left

like a first wife of a movie star as soon as he hits it big, is going to change the minds

of the average racists you are as stupid as i think you are.

BLACK CHRISTIANS

Your kidding right? You do realize that the main reason you are a christ lover is that black

slaves were brought over here and made property. your white god is a god of slavery, misery

and pain. it boogles my fucking mind that blacks still cling to their white sky daddy and his

mini avatar. I have seen so called black christians do so much dirty to simply have their sins

wash away with fake repents. What I hate most of all is the lack of ownership of the shit they

do. The devil didn’t make you steal from the church you did. A demon didn’t make you fuck your

brother in law you did

Losing A House

From the moment that a stranger knocked on my door that early afternoon in March of 2011 the

lives of my family would never be the same. The nervous look on the face of this stranger and

the camera in his hand put a lump in my stomach the moment our eyes connected. I moved out

into the entirely too cold that for shirts I had on but I didn’t want be told what I knew was

coming in front of my family. “I represent the company that has taken over your mortgage. This

is a hard time for all and we would like to make things go a little smoother.” He was the typical

middle aged white guy in gym shoes, a pair of jeans and a light coat that protected him against

the not so cold of weather of March. I honestly expected the guy who was going to throw my

family out of the house that we had lived in for the past eight years to have look like some cold

callous state trooper type with a cheap windbreaker drab olive pants and shiny shoes and the

most severe hair cut in the world to throw/hand me a fold piece of paper telling me I had forty

eight hours to leave the premises. Having never seen people get removed from hearth and home I

assumed it would be like a bad lifetime movie. “ Why hasn’t ASC sent me anything in the mail

or returned my numerous calls. I have been talking with those guys for the past six months trying

to refinance with those assholes and now a company who has taken over my mortgage has come

to ask me nicely to move.” The man shifted in his shoes. Clearly he was still nervous but the

lump in my stomach began to heat up. “Mr. Sibley people are doing a lot damage to their former

homes and we want to make this easy on you and ourselves by offering an monetary incentive

for you to leave the house exactly the way it is.” He handed me a manila envelope. Over the past

year and a half I had seen reports of people who on finding out they were losing their abodes

destroyed the place they raised a family in. Dry wall torn, pipes ripped from the wall, flooring

smashed, windows broken for some measure of payback over losing a place they loved. I opened

the envelope and glanced at the words that seemed blurry on the paper. After refocusing I saw

that the now owners of my house were not only offering me money to leave the house the way

without kicking the walls in but they wanted me to clean up the place including the garage on

their time frame. The sooner we left the more money my wife and I would receive. That was

when the lump flamed into a white hot coal and I entertained the idea of kicking the messenger

into a coma. He had begun to take pictures of my house as he talk to me. I began to get the

feeling that his nervousness had been a bs ruse and that he had done dozens of times before. I

could hear my wife call to my oldest son for something and the lump that was burning like a

miniature sun disentigrated. This was going to be another blow to my already fragile marriage.

Almost two years to the month I lost my house I was laid off along with 500 hundred union

members and supervisors. My unemployment checks had stopped coming a month prior. I was

amazed at how instantly people change when you are no longer working and on unemployment.

Being evicted from a house would only make this marriage weaker and a couple could only

become so weak before they were no longer a couple. The fake nice man was stilling talking to

me about something but I had ignored him for the last thirty seconds. Instead of beating him like

a dog who bite me I wipe him from my mind and walked back into my house to face my wife.

She sat on the couch and looked at me. She had to know it was bad news. “ASC sold our

mortgage to a company that propbably is going to flip our house. They are going to pay us not to

destroy this place but we have to be out in three weeks.” Her mouth literally fell open as she

slowly rose from her feet and walked over to. I wasn’t sure if she was going to try and slap me

(because clearly this was all my fault) so I moved the envelope that was at my side to the space

between us. She took the papers from me and scrutinized them much more then I had. Instead of

asking me questions like how did this happen? Or what are we going to do? The only question

she asked was “Do you think we can move out in three weeks? I told her what I thought “There

is no way in hell we can pull that off. Besides not having enough money we haven’t even started

looking for a house. Six weeks maybe.” She never looked up at me while she talked to me. “You

can tell the kids.” She said as she walked away from. The only reply I could muster was “of

course.”

Our children didn’t take this as badly as we had expected. Children were more resilant and easy

to change then their adult counterparts. We would borrowed money from relatives. Family and

friends would help us move. We would rent a house in the same city to make the transitions

easier for our kids. I would eventually look upon losing a house as an learning experience but

realized that my wife would see me in a different light and nothing would be the same.