Suicide is painless

……If you accomplice that deed. I on the other hand am a three time

loser when I voluntarily tried to take that long walk into nothingness.

Do you want to know what is worse then suicide in my opinion? Having to

face the family members you just to leave forever! You couldn’t tell them

how fucked up your head was before your tried to end your misery how can

you do it now? In my case I tried a lot of pills three times (you’d

think that I would have learned after the first time) and I had to clean

up nasty messes three times. To help suicides to prefect their craft or

to avoid it all together there should be a handbook on the aftermath of

a the epic fail of ending your life. Like how everyone around you is

giving you a vibe that may say a few things” “I want some of their

stuff if he/she does kicks the bucket” or “I wonder if he/she is going

to haunt the room that he/she dies in?” or “What a pussy. I would have

used a gun.” This book/pamphlet should inform the reader how skewed the

world is going to feel for the next few weeks (I imagine this never

goes away for some people)The worst feeling is the actual fail.

People died all the time in various ways and you can’t even kill

yourself on purpose. The most disappointing day of my life is the day

I woke when I decided to die to day before. I have a family to

anchor through the bullshit of existing and awareness but I can’t

make any promises if Stacie is gone and I have seen all of my

grandchildren and life is like the Pixar movie Life after the wife died,

Sad and empty

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