“That’s why you’re going to hell Adrian!”

Is what my younger brother would announce whenever I did something that was wrong

or I laughed at something that was highly inappropriate. Case in point people being

hurt. old people in particular was fucking hilarious to me. When Richard Widmark

tied up a older woman in a wheelchair and pushed her down a flight of stairs as

she cried and pleaded how she was sick and old was one of the funniest fucking things

I had seen at the time. When my uncle James was struck in the head with a piece of

wood my uncle Larry was using to hold up dry wall on a ceiling in my grandmother’s

house I nearly pissed my pants. My best friend Chris Wright got a bee stuck in his

afro and while he screamed and jumped around like a bitch trying to get it out I

jumped and screamed as well but not from pain and fear. Two of the funniest events

of my childhood revolved around my little brother and his pain. I’m not sure how it

happened but Raymond managed to get a popcorn kernel stuck in his ear. My brother’s

more sensitive scalp couldn’t take the chemicals of an S curl and he began to turn

visibly red. These two incidents seem to make his lower body dance like an indian

chief trying to make rain. I was in tears. Regular events make me chuckle as well.

Every time my my grandmother would straighten my aunt Jeanette’s hair she would

usually burn her on the knap of the neck and as my aunt protested my grandmother

would proceed to smack the hell out of her hand for getting upset about being

burned. HOW FUCKING FUUNY IS THAT! I have only recently be able to stifle my laughter

at others pain due in part to my children. When my then two year old son Owen slid

down a flight of stairs I told him not to go up I almost laughed. I knew he wasn’t hurt by

the wide eyed look of fear on his face. It took me a monumental effort on my part

to not cry out laughing and I think I actually had to grit my teeth to do so. See

I am getting better.

People to keep at an arms length

WOMEN

Why would you trust the best liars in the world? Up to ten percent of women lie about

the parentage of their children. At first glance that seems low but when you think that

out of a hundred people ten of those may not know who their daddy really is. When Chris

Rock said “men tell the most lies but women tell the biggest lies.” is was the truth. When

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle spoke through Sherlock Holmes about how “Women are never to be

entirely trusted” it was the truth. There isn’t one women over the age of thirty who hasn’t

done something that would be contrary to their personality they saw you (fuck a total stranger,

slap one of her kids in a fit of rage, steal money) and justify it with their skewed logic. The

young ,socially inept or just plain dumb man doesn’t get that women aren’t playing

by the same rules as you are. Unbelievably men are slightly (maybe more then slightly) worse.

ADULTS WHO DON’T CURSE

Of course you don’t have to curse as much as I do. I acknowledge that I spew foul words

like a sailor born in a prison but I simply can’t trust a grown man or woman who doesn’t

drop the f bomb or even a lame ass “dammit” on occasion. Any adult who has seen how shitty

and unfair this world can be without screaming a curse word to their fake god is a warped

individual who in all probability does really fucked up things to himself or other

people behind closed doors. Adults who don’t curse are way more fucked up then the rest of

us.

POST RACIAL FUCKERS

You think that because we have a president who is a mixy that racism is done? How stupid

can you fucking be? The Tea Party just happened to be formed around the same time that half

and half got into office. Does that seem like racism is done? I still get those “that nigger

is going to steal something” look when I go into stores WITH my white wife and WITH my three

children. If you think one mixy,who only reached out to blacks to get voted in and left

like a first wife of a movie star as soon as he hits it big, is going to change the minds

of the average racists you are as stupid as i think you are.

BLACK CHRISTIANS

Your kidding right? You do realize that the main reason you are a christ lover is that black

slaves were brought over here and made property. your white god is a god of slavery, misery

and pain. it boogles my fucking mind that blacks still cling to their white sky daddy and his

mini avatar. I have seen so called black christians do so much dirty to simply have their sins

wash away with fake repents. What I hate most of all is the lack of ownership of the shit they

do. The devil didn’t make you steal from the church you did. A demon didn’t make you fuck your

brother in law you did