A “quit your job and move to another town” moment

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Most men who work hot and loud jobs drink hard and the ones that don’t

are recovering drunks. I worked at a Steel Mill called Sheffield Steel

around the turn of the century (see what I did there) and we all drank

like a motherfucker. Guys who had been there back in the seventies and

eighties had so many wonderfully fucked up stories to tell me that I

will save for another blog but I had tell most involved hard drinks

and hookers. Even in the 90’s I would find bottles of gin and vodka

I had never heard of…… but I digress. Let me tell of a story I was

there for.

We worked what they called a southern swing at Sheffield. That means a

week of days then a week of afternoons followed by a week of midnights.

When we worked midnights we would go out drinking Friday morning at the

Lumpy Pickle (fuck you it’s not a gay bar!). The cast of drunk consisted

of myself, drinking buddies Gary and Phil, the foreman and mill manager

Michael Frickey and a few other guys. From about seven in the morning

until about 1o am. At that time Michael Frickey suggested that we go

to his house for a case or two of free beers. Who is going to turn down

free beer? So it was about 12 pm in the afternoon and Mrs. Frickey told

us nicely it was time to leave. When the woman of the house tells you

nicely to get the fuck out you get the fuck out. “Bitch you don’t tell

me what to do. My friends can leave when they want to leave. I’m the

man of this fucking house. Her response “THAT IS NOT WHAT YOU WERE

SAYING TWO DAYS AGO WHEN YOU HAD YOUR LEGS IN THE AIR AND I WAS FUCKING

YOU WITH YOUR VIBRATOR.” I was actually speechless at this. The only

thing I could think about was how there would be not way in hell that

I would ever talk to my wife like this if I know she could reveal a secret

like that. “If I was Michael I would quit and fucking move.” Is what Gary

said I we were leaving the house of Captain Vibrator (names evolving as we

drove home).

I had troubles of my own with I got home. I had told the wife that I would be

home a few hours after seven. It was closer to 1 pm when I got home and she was

super pissed. She made me go shopping with her and I didn’t get a chance to go to

sleep until 8 pm.

If you know like I do men gossip as much as women do and by Monday afternoon two

thirds of every one knew Frickey liked his wife to butt fuck him with his own

vibrator. I can honestly tell you that I would have quit the day something that

private got out.

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