New parents are stupid parents

Stacie and I have done silly shit in our lives but only one time was it due to being young and

dumb parents. I remember me being home alone when she came in with Noah so more then

likely she was at her mother’s in Wilmington or on the eastside of Joliet at her best friend

Maggie’s house. Back in the day Stacie would go down to her parents house at least once a

week sometimes twice a week. She would run over to Maggie’s ever time they had a get

together and sometime just for the hell of it. A lot of time I just balked at going. She knew I was

not a people person and yet she still would get pissed off I refused to go to see her mommy

who never called to see how she was doing and she needed the approval of mommy and

her best friend. Anyway………… she got home and Noah must have been hunger so she popped

him out the tit to feed. I have always been at awe how a child lovingly grabs that breast to feed.

Anyway………. She calls me to the room and says Noah has a problem latching on (sounds like

porn right?). I watch her try to feed him and he lets out a cry of frustration because he can’t

feed. We lay him down on the bed and look in his mouth and there seems to be a rash looking

batch on the roof of his mouth. We both freaked out just a little. Our first born had a fucking

rash on the roof of his mouth. We were bad parents. I called my mother because she was the

nearest thing to a medical professional. I told her about the rash in his mouth and without

really thinking about she said it was oral thrush and she told me it was like fungus in the mouth

of babies. While I was on the phone with my mother Stacie was looking into one of her baby

books. [See kids: back in the day before the internet when people wanted to get information

they would go to a book to find out things.] She found the same thing but with a nasty picture of

a baby with a bunch of yellowish white crap on his tongue. Damnit I was right we were shitty shit

parents. On the way to the hospital I wondered if they could take our kid since he had a weird

growth on his mouth. Long story short when we got in front of the doctor he took a tongue

depressor and removed a piece of fucking wet paper from the roof of his mouth and looked at

us and smiled. Then he turned around and went to show this to the nurses in the hallway to

have a fucking laugh at the expense of the dumb ass new parents. I had a seven hundred dollar

hospital bill for a piece of wet newspaper. I made sure to call my mother to let her know

everything was alright.


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